CHAPTER 4: FALLING IN LOVE
The Importance of Discussing Safe Sex
A major challenge in new relationships is knowing when and how to talk about safe sex and what level of risk you are willing to take. Going ahead with sexual activity without finding out about your partner’s history and habits puts you at risk. Although it may be uncomfortable to discuss these issues, concerns such as safe sex and birth control are important not only to develop intimacy but also to protect your physical health.
Risky behavior is any activity that can lead to spreading a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or an unwanted pregnancy. Talking about “safe sex” prior to any risky behavior, rather than in the middle of a passionate moment, makes a whole lot of sense. That way, when you hook up sexually you won’t have questions going on in the back of your mind, such as “Is this safe?” “Will I get a disease?” and “Will she (I) get pregnant?” These thoughts are mood killers and can get in the way of an intimate sexual experience.
Important reasons to discuss safe sex in advance of risky behavior include:
• Determining your level of risk.
• Protecting yourself against contracting a STD.
• Helping clear your mind to be fully present when sexually engaged.
• Understanding more about your partner, his/her willingness to engage in risky behavior and/or share about these issues.
• Informing your partner about birth control.
• Building intimacy with a heart connection.
The “right time” to talk about safe sex will vary from partner to partner. Optimum timing depends on each partner’s comfort level in disclosing one’s sexual history, and the rate that sexual tension builds in the relationship.
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